Maybe she knows what she has done, and is now sorry.........that I almost totally threw my life away for her sick beliefs.
My point that I want to make is, that she was never a real friend, she called herself a teacher but only used me for some sick kick until she got bored with me, or let's rather say WHEN I STARTED to demand more from her WHAT SHE COULD NOT GIVE me at all.
These arseholes are NOT YOUR FRIENDS, they are NOT YOUR SAVIOURS or KNIGHTS in shining Armour.
And I can tell you, it is very fucking difficult to forgive these fuckers.
I am supposed to accept her apology because she wants to be friends again AS HER grand fucking APOLOGY for acting like a total fucking CUNT with no fucking concern for my emotional well being in general, but only concerned with her stinking rotting ego.
And I was thinking about the mediums who always encourage forgiveness before you can move on to HEAVEN or realms of greater light and understanding.
But i saw it all as a croak of hypocritical bullshit. Why should we forgive evil fuckers like that, that are supposed to be angelic?
I am trying very hard to find a purpose in all this, trying to see how I MIGHT possibly be similar to her in different ways in my own life...... but why should I? Why should I be indebted to her at all? When she was the fuck trying to imprint bullshit into my head to which I almost acted to my entire detriment ?
Well if anything i learned who my true friends are...and where you should go to for help if you really NEED IT.
AND SHE REALLY DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY FEELINGS THOUGH..........maybe she is more worried about how she made herself look like an ass and how that CAN GET OUT TO OTHER PEOPLE, MAKING HERSELF LOOK FUCKING BAD in our circle of friends.
thus it is not a guilt trip but a self-pity party.
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